Wife In A Difficult Marriage

To the wife in a difficult marriage,

You are in my thoughts. You are on my heart. You are where I have been and I feel your pain and loneliness.

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Actually, I was attempting to go to sleep, just nestling in when the words of my therapist came rushing into my mind and I know that although those words were spoken to and for me, they were meant for you as well. You need to hear those words as much as I did. They served to remind me of a truth I sometimes forget and bring about a peace I don’t always have. I hope they do the same for you too.

I trust this therapist with the deepest parts of me. She has earned that trust with the hours of listening and speaking into my life at various points over the last eight years. The other day she reminded me that marriage is a sacred thing. It belongs to God and the couple who made the covenant.

Here’s the thing you need to know, wife in a difficult marriage, what has transpired in your marriage hasn’t taken God by surprise. He is not shocked. He saw it coming long before it played out the way it did. I don’t know what has happened to cause the difficult place that your marriage is in, but it doesn’t matter. Your marriage is still sacred and still belongs to Him.

God is the creator of marriage.

What that means for each of us is that we get to choose what to do next. How to respond. How long to take to respond. Who we want to talk to and how we want that to look. Depending on your difficult marriage situation, you may get a lot of unsolicited advice on what you should do. That person only gets a say if you choose to let them in.

Your marriage is between you, your husband and God.

I am not downplaying or minimizing what you have gone through. I want to be perfectly clear on this one thing. If your life or the lives of your children are in danger, seek help quickly! It is your right to be safe, and your responsibility to keep your children safe. That’s not the difficult marriage situation I’m talking about. There is no reason to ever stay in a hostile and dangerous environment, especially if it occurs in your home. Get safe and stay safe.

Other difficult situations like anger issues, alcohol or addiction, mental illness, or whatever has happened to put you in a difficult situation in your marriage doesn’t nullify the sacredness. It doesn’t alter God’s role or plan.

If your difficult situation stems from infidelity, I am so sorry you are living through that pain. It’s a hurt like no other and you have my deepest sympathy. You also have my prayers for an outcome that is for your good and brings glory to the Creator of marriage.

To the wife in a difficult marriage, hang in there. Allow yourself the time you need to grieve before you make a decision that will affect you and those you love. Give yourself time to hear from God about how He wants you to respond.

And find a trusted girlfriend to walk with you. If you don’t have one, reach out. I am an ordained minister and a hope coach. I can help you find your support system.




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