When Mothering Changes

There comes a time in each of our lives when mothering changes. And not just once. It’s something that happens over, and over with each new phase. Because each new phase of our children’s lives comes complete with a new phase for us.

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I read a Facebook post of a friend today. She was lamenting the times she told her kids to “Please hang the towels up”, and now they are always properly a-hanging. Her kids are grown and gone. And she misses those un-hung towels. She misses those babies she once held in her arms.

I had the wonderful, awesome privilege of not only staying at home with my kids, but home schooling them as well. A huge shout-out to my husband for supporting me in doing both. It couldn’t have happened without his support. But my life is different now, my mothering has changed. My kids are all grown.

There is, of course, a bigger issue than towels hung straight, dishes put away, beds made and curfews kept. My life has changed. My kids are adults, and it doesn’t even matter if one or two or however many adult children we have living at home, are still with us. The result is the same.

Our mothering has changed. With it comes the happy memories of fun and not so fun times. Memories that you hold in your heart for… well forever. The longing for times gone past are ever-present as you joy in the new and exciting things your adult kids are experiencing.

When mothering changes it ushers in a host of new feelings.

It’s the cycle of mothering.

And when kids grow up and move away…taking your grands with them? Well, mothering changes in a whole new way. I don’t have first-hand experience in grandmothering yet, and hopefully will always live near my grand kids, but for those of you who don’t…my heart goes out to you.

The struggle is real when mothering changes. To be there for each other is the best medicine of all. To be able to warn those young mothers who are suffering through sleepless nights, changing diapers, running kids to all those practices, games and performances and lessons… well, it’s coming to an end. It will seem like it was over way too fast for you too, when you look back.

You can’t “get it” now, so don’t even try.

You will be where we are today, soon enough, my friends.

Enjoy the good times and muster through the bad.

When mothering changes for you, we’ll be here to hold your hands and help you through.

4 thoughts on “When Mothering Changes”

  1. Well said! At nearly 61 years old now, my mothering these young adults continues “new phases!” They continue to adapt well, while I sometimes struggle in learning my new role. The good news is that I’m feeling more friendly with the constant change!

    Reply
  2. Well said! At nearly 61 years old now, my mothering these young adults continues “new phases!” They continue to adapt well, while I sometimes struggle in learning my new role. The good news is that I’m feeling more friendly with the constant change!

    Reply

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