The Usual, The Unusual

What a difference a day makes. Or two or three…

The Usual

The alarm went off at the usual time Saturday morning. I like to stay pretty consistent in my going-to-bed and getting-up life, and this particular Saturday was no different.

Except it was.

Hope, hard times, surrendering to God, staying in bed to escape, trusting God, where do you find hope

I knew before I told Siri to reset my alarm for thirty minutes later, and then again when the alarm sounded the second time, that this day was going to look very different than most.

I knew that as soon as I unloaded the bags from my car that I acquired during the quick trip to the grocery that I was going to go back to bed and stay there. All day.

I’m not a stay-in-bed-all-day kind of person but I found myself back in a place of questions without answers as I tried to make sense of all the things that had transpired in my life…again.

The real rub was that I had worked hard to get through all the junk from the past, and I had reached the acceptance phase of the grieving process. Looks like it wasn’t complete though and I still had some work to do. Only problem was, I didn’t want to.

Have you been there?

The Unusual

It was the unusual part that made this day so hard. I’m an outside kind of girl when the weather is nice and it looked like a pretty good forecast was on tap, if anyone wanted to partake. I did not.

I crawled into bed around 8:00 AM and slept until 11. I was surprised at the time when I looked at the clock so, I rolled over and slept some more. If I was asleep, I reasoned, then I couldn’t think, and not thinking was a gift that kept on giving.

Sunday was better but still not great. When the alarm went off on Monday morning, I welcomed the relief that my normal work routine would bring even though, for the most part, I would have preferred the freedom that only sleep could give me.

The workday passed quickly enough but the funk continued. About thirty minutes before leaving work a teammate who was keeping busier than usual, sent me a text. Even though I wasn’t much into talking that day I responded to the text because I care about the people that I care about, especially when they are going through hard stuff.

The Usual

The story my friend told me made my heart hurt for them and the young daughters who had gone through a lot already. The situation seemed so unfair. Why? How could God not intervene? He could have. In fact, He could interrupt a lot of crappy things going on in the world and the lives of those I care about. This conversation I had with my friend served to reinforce the weekend musings that I could only avoid while asleep.

The Unusual

But then something took place that I didn’t see coming. It’s not a normal part of our interactions when we’re in similar places, but my friend shared scripture and a few simple words that would profoundly affect me as I continued to mull them over for the next several days.

I not only found my way back to surrendering to the will of God for my life, but in a more willing place to put my trust in Him, no matter what.

I still don’t have the answers to my questions and I probably never will this side of heaven. After that, it won’t matter.

But I’m a little closer in my relationship with Jesus. And that’s what life is all about. That’s why we go through the things that we do. It’s the hard times that shape us into the people we are, and as Christ-followers, the people we are becoming is what matters most.

I know I will still struggle in the future, with the same questions that have no concrete answers, but how I choose to respond is what matters. And if I yield to the molding process that the Lord is taking me through, I’m certain it will make all the difference, not just in my life but the lives of others too.

What about you? We all go through hard times. How do you respond? What do you do when the answers don’t come or life doesn’t add up?

Where do you find your purpose and reason to get out of bed and do it all again?


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