And so it goes, the youngest of the children, no matter how many kids you have, seems to get less… of everything that matters, if you are like me. I was busy raising the older two when child number three came along, and therefore had not a lot of extra time to do the things I had done with the other two, or so it seems.
I had good intentions, I really did. But the baby just sort of got thrown in with the mix.With the first child you wait…wait for the first time they smile, the first time they roll over, the first time they sit alone, and on it goes. The second child comes along and you just sort of notice one day, “Hey, when did they learn to do that”? By the time the third (and beyond) comes along you sort of just say, “When you start walking, give me a call, we’ll do lunch and catch up”.
And so it went with the journals I kept for my kids. I came across my youngest child’s journal today. I knew I had slacked off TREMENDOUSLY with his, however, I didn’t know how badly until today. I didn’t mean for years to go by between entries, but sadly I admit they did. What I did do with each of them, however, was write a letter to them while I was pregnant with them. (I think I may have written more than one to my first-born but let’s just keep that our little secret).
So in honor of my youngest child turning 16 a few weeks ago, I will publish it here.
May 14, 1996
To My Third Baby,
It is about thirteen weeks until you are due to arrive in this world. I am excited! I finally get to see and hold this little one who has been kicking me non-stop for the last few weeks. But I am also a little sad since this is my last pregnancy, and you are the last child I will give birth to. I am trying to savor each kick, every movement and flutter. I use the word trying because it seems as if I have been “big with child” for most of this pregnancy. It also seems as if my stomach is being stretched beyond it’s limits and it is due to you, my little one.
Brittany and Jacob are excited too. They talk about you often. Daddy, Brittany, and Jacob gave you a name when you were but a few weeks known. They call you “Little Booger”. Not a pretty name by any means, but they say it with such great affection.
Only a few more weeks until your arrival and still I have several things to do to prepare for you. But most often I wonder what you will be like. They tell us you are a boy so that much I do know. I wonder if you’ll cry a lot. It took one of your siblings a couple of months to decide the world was an okay place to be. I wonder if you will like balls as much as Jacob did. He had to take a ball with him wherever we went. Will you have curly hair like Brittany and Jacob. And on it goes.
None of those things really matter, of course. What does matter is that I love you, and I pray for you, and thank God for you. What matters is that you are healthy, and that God has given you to us to raise and to enrich our lives and our family.
So for now, my little one, I will continue to hold you close in my heart as I wait for the few weeks to pass so I can hold you in my arms.
I love you,
I will mention also that this youngest child of mine was the only baby to come after the due date. Typical of Luke…always one to do things his way and in his time. Those were the longest three days of my life! But came he did, and brought much joy and laughter into our home.
Happy Belated Birthday, Luke, and even though I may not have written as much in your journal as I would have liked, I love you to the moon and back. And I cherish the many wonders of your childhood.