From the Outside In

Life is an interesting thing, especially looking from the outside in.

It just seems to be that everyone knows the exact thing to do in life when it involves someone else besides yourself. When it is about someone else then things are crystal clear, or so it seems. Things happen. People get hurt. Life is messy. It can become extremely complicated. Sometimes there are no easy answers.

Why is it though, that people looking from the outside in see things differently?

I know being an armchair coach is an easy thing to do when it comes to sports. I think the same can be said for the messy parts of a person’s life.

Every case is different. No one can say what they would do in YOUR situation because they aren’t in your situation, nor will they ever be.

And sometimes doing the hard thing can look like weakness, and sometimes weakness can look like strength.

Running away isn’t always running away and staying isn’t always staying.

Maybe what I’m really talking about is judging another person. Never a good idea. You don’t have all the facts. And even if you do, let he who is without trouble in his life cast the first stone of judgment.

I guess my bottom line is: Don’t tell me what to do unless you’ve been where I am, feel what I feel, experience what I experience, and are living in my skin.

If these things do not apply, then do us both a favor and stop judging from the outside in.

You want to help? Ask what you can do. Ask what the person needs. Listen. Sit. Be with them. Sometimes those things speak louder than words. In fact, most of the time this is true.

It’s human nature I suppose, to want to help someone. It’s also true that it is easier to see the speck in someone else’s eye than it is to see the plank in your own.

I know I have a messy life at the moment, my friend. I know you mean well. But you’re not where I am, so you don’t know what you think you know by looking from the outside in.