Not Just The Wife

I have great news to share today! You are not just the wife of an addict. The sum of your life is not the situations you have experienced. You are more than the dysfunction. You are more than the things you have survived.

You are more.

What were you like as a little girl? Who were your friends? What did you like to do? Where was your favorite place to be? Did you like school? Sports? Music or drama? All of those things are important and make up a part of who you are but still…

marriage, struggles, not just the wife of an addict, not just the wife of a sex addict, you are more, God made you to be more, God has a plan for you, finding out who you are, grieving, grieving the things you loss in your marriage

You are more.

And then you grew up. You may have gone to college. You may have started down a career path without formal education. You had a life you were living. Doing all the things.

marriage, struggles, not just the wife of an addict, not just the wife of a sex addict, you are more, God made you to be more, God has a plan for you, finding out who you are, grieving, grieving the things you loss in your marriage

You were a daughter. You may have been a sister and a cousin. You were a friend to many or just a few. You dated. You probably did all the things all the people your age were doing.

You may have fallen in love…more than once. But then, you got married. Guess what? When that happened, you were not just a wife. Your life didn’t end. A new one began. You were part of a couple.

marriage, struggles, not just the wife of an addict, not just the wife of a sex addict, you are more, God made you to be more, God has a plan for you, finding out who you are, grieving, grieving the things you loss in your marriage

But still, you weren’t defined by that either. You were still an individual, cherished by God who had a plan for you as a woman, a person, and then, a wife, mother, daughter, friend. You are all of those things and yet, only one because all on your own…

You Are More.

It’s a hard thing when you go through difficult situations, especially in your marriage. It’s challenging not to let those things consume you and redefine you, allowing them to shape you into someone you were never meant to be. The things you have gone through certainly haven’t surprised God or caused Him to change a single thing. Because He knew. And He knows. And…He knows you.

I am here not just to share that news in the first line. I AM here to encourage you to feel the pain and grieve the losses. If you are the wife of an addict, and more specifically the wife of a sex addict, there are lots of losses to be grieved. Do it! It will be painful and you may not see the purpose, but grieving will enable you to heal and go on to be who God created you to be and do the things He put you on this earth to do.

Because you are more.

And then, explore who you are. Identify the ways you have changed and determine to hold on to the worthwhile things, allowing God to use them for your good and His glory. But at the same time, those hard places that have tried to settle in and take control, give those to God and let Him use those things as well to bring about good.

These events in your life have affected you and those you love. You have been changed forever. The trauma of those incidents doesn’t have to be the deciding factor.

Because you are more. 

I would love to hear your story. If you are struggling in any way concerning these things you have read, don’t stay in the struggle. Ask for help, because you were never meant to do life alone and especially not the struggles.

Father God, you see the person reading this who is struggling and doesn’t know where to go for help. Open the doors you would have her walk through so she can do the next right thing you would have her do. Thank you for leading her here to hear the words you want her to hear. I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Reach out if you need some help in the struggle because you are more.

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