I Miss My Brother

Today marks the 31st anniversary of my brother’s death. It was Memorial Day weekend and my brother was the first highway casualty in our state on that holiday weekend. My youngest brother’s birthday is May 23. We had all gathered at my parent’s house to celebrate. When my 18 year old brother left the house after dinner that night, we had no idea we were saying good-bye for the last time. He left and never came home.

There are no words to describe the shock and denial that followed after hearing the news of his death. Certain details of that night and the days that followed are forever etched in my brain.

It is somewhat hard to imagine, how you can miss someone who has been gone longer than they lived, someone you never got to know as an adult. But it’s true, you do. I miss the person he would have become, the family he would have possibly had. After all of this time I miss my brother.

I miss his smile, his sense of humor, his musical talents but most of all, what I miss the most is the sound of his voice. That may sound strange, but I can’t remember the sound of his voice. We have some home movies of him playing basketball and ice skating. It’s cool in a weird sort of way to watch him move with so much life. But 30 years ago most cameras didn’t have sound so I can’t hear his voice on that film and I miss that.

Death is a non-negotiable part of life. An extremely painful part of life, albeit, but a fact all the same. Today I pay tribute to my brother and the short life he lived. He was my brother and friend and I will miss him always.

life…just saying

9 thoughts on “I Miss My Brother”

  1. When reading this I about cried. You are so right about death and I wish more people realized this and did not take life for granted. I will keep you in my thoughts today as I finish it out and pray for your family as you remember your brother.

  2. I’m Sorry To Hear about Your Brother . I Know exactly How You Feel. My Mother Just Died In January Of Pancreatic Cancer. And To Make Things worse , My Father Sister And Mother All Died Within A Year And A Half Of Each Other. Anna

  3. I’m sorry to hear about your brother. We will never understand why some are taken so young. My dad passed away before Thanksgiving in 1996. My youngest was 11 months old & it makes me sad that she never really got to know her pawpaw. And like you, I can’t remember what he sounds like.

    Stopping by from VoiceBoks.


  4. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. It’s so wonderful that you remember him still after so many years… because I know how hard it is to “remember.” Often people would rather forget because it’s so much easier. I remember the first few years after my father passed away I didn’t think I would ever feel “better” about his passing. My heart ached with just the thought of him. Now, I feel healed… I don’t ache so much when I think of him. I don’t cry as much when we visit his memorial/grave. My mom has a memorial for him every year without fail. She says we owe him that and yes, i agree… so remembering and honoring his life is a wonderful tribute. Take care…


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