Hating The Past

Do you hate your past? It’s a thing. Being in a place where you hate your past is probably more common than we think. There are many things I hate about my past. What about you?

past, dysfunction, making peace with the past, grieving, grief, family, coming to terms with the past

It has been said that you can’t choose your family. You are born into the family you are born into and there isn’t a single thing you can do about it. You can’t choose your past when it comes to issues that stem from your family of origin, however, you do get a say about the family you create, where many problems arise. Those problems often come about because of your past. That may lead to feelings of hating your past. It can be a never-ending cycle until you decide to stop it.

I have talked with many women over the last couple of decades who have difficulty making peace with their pasts. I have found that many hate their pasts and everything surrounding events that have taken place in their lives. I get it. There are many things I would change if I could, but we don’t get do-overs in this life which is why it’s so important to accept the things you hate about the past.

Maybe you grew up in a home riddled with dysfunction. Many do. It’s hard to see things as dysfunctional sometimes because that’s all you know. It takes intentionality to overcome the things you hate about your past once you figure out what the past issues are that have overflowed into your present. Dysfunctional things have a way of repeating themselves in the generations that follow.

But there is good news! Even though you can’t change the past, you can change the way you view it and decide to stop perpetuating the things you hate about your past. You can work to accept the things you have endured by first acknowledging what has gone on and doing the grief work acceptance always requires.

Do you hate your past? It’s a hard thing to come to a place of acceptance. It takes a willingness to grieve and stick with the process no matter how painful and messy it gets and it’s best not to do it alone.

If you don’t have someone to help you, a therapist or counselor, reach out. I am a life coach focusing on grief issues, a trained women’s mentor and ordained minister. I would love to help you overcome hating your past.

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