Even When The Day Is Hard

Some days are hard. They just are. Yesterday was one of those days. I am accustomed to hard days so I know how to push through, but yesterday? It was just hard.

As the wife of an addict I’m sure you can relate. Am I right?

hard days, wife of an addict, overcoming chaos, recovery, don't do life alone, Atmosphere of Hope, grateful, living grateful

Usually I jump out of bed as soon as my alarm goes off, whether I feel like it or not. Yesterday was not one of those days. I lingered in bed for about thirty minutes knowing that I had to get up because I had to be somewhere at 7:00. The only way I made myself get out of bed was to make a plan that would enable me to run the few errands that needed to be done before I made my way home and back to the safe haven of my bed where I intended to spend the rest of the day.

It didn’t quite go that way.

I want to pause for a minute to check in with you. Have you ever had that kind of day, when you can’t even, or don’t want to? Sometimes the chaos, whether current or in the pass, is just too much. The feelings of sadness or anger of longing can be so overwhelming, especially so for the wife of an addict.

I was in Kroger, hurriedly making my way through the aisles I needed and then to the self-check lane because I had a day-long date with my bed to keep. As I was exiting the store I noticed an employee with a disability. She obviously had trouble walking. As I approached where she stood, on my way to the doors, she spoke to me. She wished me a good day.

I was suddenly incredibly grateful for the things I have instead of dwelling on the hard situations I had endured through the years. The ability to walk, see, hear and to be in good health are things I often take for granted. But not at that moment. I was very much aware of the blessings that have been bestowed on me by a loving Father even if they weren’t the blessings I so desired.

Don’t get me wrong, I have aches and pains. After all, I am sixty-one years old. In fact, earlier in the week I had an appointment with a podiatrist. Arthritis, orthotics and surgery were a few words being flung around as the doctor and I discussed the issues I was having. But I digress.

After picking up my order at Walmart, I decided to stop and get gas while the lines were non-existent and the price was still reasonable. It was early, but the sky was beginning to show signs of daybreak. As I was driving away from the gas pump, I couldn’t help but notice the stunning hues of red and pink exploding through the myriad of clouds, where the sun would soon become briefly visible before disappearing just as quickly behind those far-reaching clouds.

hard days, wife of an addict, overcoming chaos, recovery, don't do life alone, Atmosphere of Hope, grateful, living grateful

I found it difficult, as I drove, to keep my eyes from straying to the horizon bursting with signs of great artistry. I had no other choice but to pull my car into an empty parking lot and absorb the beauty of God’s creation. I retrieved my phone from the console and pulled up Youtube to listen to a couple of my favorite worship songs as I sat there in awe of the magnificence before my eyes.

There are times I don’t understand why life has to be so hard. I know why, but I don’t get it. Does that make sense to you? I prayed the prayers over the years and believed that God could change the circumstances of my life. It didn’t happen the way I had planned. And that’s okay, because I still trust in my Father even when I don’t understand.

I know that I have a choice to make every time I get to this place of not understanding when life gets hard. I know how to choose to abandon the thoughts of the negative events of my life and go with the positive, allowing God to use me how He wants to use me, and change me in the ways He wants to change me.

But sometimes…

I’m human, just like you. I know I’m not the only one who has this battle to fight daily, minute by minute, as I struggle to stay positive, or as close as I can get. I know too, that I am not the only one who has had hard events to deal with. I’m not the only one who has prayed the prayers and hoped in the One who could change the circumstances, while they stayed the same. I know that I am not alone.

If you are still with me, then I am going to assume that you too have had to find a place in your mind to stow all the things you didn’t ask for or didn’t see coming, those hard places. You too get to choose to hide behind the façade of smiles, pretending that your life is just as good as the ones being shown to you on social media, or even in person, or go to the a place of peace where you accept the things you cannot change and trust the One who knows. It’s challenging to be visible, to be who you are because of where you have been, but so very important.

As a fellow warrior of all the seemingly injustices that have come my way, I see you. I hear you without you uttering a single word. But more importantly, God knows you and He has a plan for your life. He will never leave you or turn His back on you no matter how hard life gets, and He loves you even more than you can fathom.

Some days are hard. Yesterday was for sure, but even so, I choose to stay connected to the One who knows. Help us Lord, to always trust you with all of our hearts, and lean not on our own understanding. In all of our ways, O Lord, help us to acknowledge you, and you will direct our paths.

Even when the day is hard.

What about you? Can you relate? If you are the wife of an addict, I’m pretty sure you have hard days, the times of making the decision to go with it or choose to be grateful for what God has done in your life. As an ordained minister and a certified Life (Hope) Coach, I am here to help you in whatever way you need help, even if it’s just a prayer. Let’s connect~

I also want to invite you to join our Facebook group Atmosphere of Hope. You can click here!

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