Do You Like Weddings?

Do you like weddings? I am not a fan. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the institute of marriage. I do. Marriage was God’s idea, so it’s a good thing, but I still don’t like weddings. And here’s the rub, right across the street from my house is a venue most often used for weddings…

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Most of the weddings are held outside. I have learned to ignore the goings-on that every wedding brings, but sometimes I stop to pay attention to the pictures being taken, the people gathering, the words being said and, it’s hard not to notice the cheers that arise with the pronouncing of the new Mr. and Mrs.

I have a bird’s-eye view when the wedding is held by the gazebo from my bedroom window. There was one wedding I did pay attention to though I can’t remember why. I sat by the window and watched as the bride and groom were having photos taken in perfect view. It was a crisp fall day but they didn’t seem to notice. The joy from afar was evident.

The photographers were giving instructions, you could tell, as the groom took the bride’s hand in his own and they turned and walked away.

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I could have been reading more into what I saw than there really was, but it seemed like the bride felt a sense of security as she grasped the hand of her groom. I saw her face as she looked over her shoulder while walking away from the camera.

There was a sense of partnership like they were doing this thing together, joining their lives for all the right reasons. It looked like they were going to make a safe, calm, and loving home where protection is in its rightful place because love and protection go hand-in-hand.

It wasn’t about ownership, or about not being alone, but about coming together to enrich each other’s lives.

As a wife of an addict, you may not like weddings either. Maybe they leaving you feeling a loss sense of hope. Maybe the sight of a couple uniting their lives leaves you feeling incredibly sad for the things you have lost or never really had in the first place. Maybe weddings make you more aware of the big empty hole that seems to grow bigger with each passing day.

Like most wives of addicts, you were probably unaware of the secret life your husband was leading, until you weren’t. The waves of emotions that you experienced once you did know seemed unending, overwhelming, and surreal. The shock you felt when you first learned the truth still causes feelings that you can’t quite name.

But it won’t be like that forever.

Time has a way of changing us. Even better if you are intentional about the change and become fully engaged and present in regaining your identity or perhaps embracing it for the very first time.

If you are on this journey I want you to know that you are brave, intelligent, and valued. You are a beautiful woman who deserves to be treated with all the love and cherishing that can be lavished upon you. The events that transpired in your marriage do not define the woman you were created to be. God defines you because He designed you.

Any woman who has been through the things that you have been through as the wife of an addict has every reason in the world to dislike weddings. My hope for you is that you will get to the place where you can attend a wedding and partake of the joy and excitement without the triggers of loss and sadness.

If this resonates with you in any way, I would love to hear your story. I invite you to join our Facebook group Atmosphere of Hope HERE! 

And, I would also love to hear YOUR story.

I invite you to join our Facebook group Atmosphere of Hope. Click here!

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