My Dearest Daughters Letter 15

A series of letters from a mother to her daughters.

Letter 15

My Dearest Daughters,

I am vexed and burdened today. My heart is heavy. The tales that I hear of marriages, both young and old, warm my soul in some cases and others, well not so much, I’m afraid.

I have learned many lessons during my tenure of life, mostly from the school of hard knocks. Someone once said that a wise man learns from his own mistakes, but a really wise man learns from the mistakes of others. I study others. It is a trait I have always had, that of people watching, but I do so now with purpose and reason and with the utmost intentions.

I see so many young girls rushing to the altar, declaring undying and eternal love for the young men they know little about. Indeed because he is so young, he has yet to be tested and tried through the fiery times to come, and there will be many.

I don’t want to appear biased, my dearest daughters, rest assured I see the same thing in many young men. Perhaps it is best to wait and see how the woman of his dreams will react and respond when trouble comes. There is yet another thing you can be sure of; taxes, death and trying times. For trouble comes to us all.

Here’s what I want you to know, this tidbit I am about to share with you will guide you if you will let it, when selecting your life partner, the person to share your intimate self with.

Choose wisely, my dearest daughters, and you will find a life that has joy at its very core, for marriage is about wanting the best for your spouse, helping your spouse to achieve the goals they have set, being their biggest fan and cheerleader. It is not just a one-sided act, for true love will reciprocate those actions and feelings.

There is no room in marriage for selfishness and the desire to rule and reign if you want a healthy relationship. Trust is a must, for that is the only way one can open up and risk being vulnerable enough to share your inner-most self.

You want to choose a man, who puts your marriage above all things, except for God. He has to want the marriage so much so that he would be willing to lay down his life for that relationship, and for you, my dearest daughters, yes YOU. He has to want the marriage, want a relationship with you to the exception of his own needs and desires, for then he will have his own met. It is a very wise man indeed who realizes the wisdom in that statement.

Words are ramblings that anyone can use. Actions speak louder than words. In fact, they scream and demand to be heeded.

You deserve that kind of devotion. Not because you are special in and of yourselves, though I think you are my dearest daughters, but because you were created and uniquely gifted with a capacity to love and honor, to tend and care for. You deserve a husband who will want you in his life so much so that he will go to any ethical length to achieve that goal. To settle for anything else is to cheat yourself of one of the greatest gifts the Creator designed…marriage.

Ponder these thoughts long.

Ponder them well.

And choose wisely.

 

Love,

Mother