Coaching the Coach

There was another battle going on besides the election being fought the evening of Tuesday, November 6, 2012. There was a basketball game between a second year homeschool team and a small, established private school team, complete with a coaching staff. It was heated.

Not really so much between the two teams. The private school blew past the homeschool team without a problem. I was there, I know.

This league plays four 8 minute quarters. The coach of the homeschool team, (and if you haven’t gathered by now that I have a son on this team, it’s information you need to have), began the game the usual way, with the usual five starting players in this varsity game. But that only lasted for one quarter and a half.

Our coach (and we only have one), halfway through the second quarter collected five players on the bench, three who are on the junior varsity team, and lined them up to go in. I saw what was about to come down and I was so hoping he wouldn’t do that. He did.

I was angry. Not just because my son was one of the five players he pulled. No, because he pulled the entire team, in a grand sweep. A slap in their faces for the effort they were giving. They were out-played, and their shots weren’t going down, however, these guys didn’t quite. Their coach did. On them.

I did the only thing I knew to do. I went to the car at halftime and stayed there. I couldn’t support the way our team was being represented or the way the coach handled the situation.

As I was sitting in the car being righteously indignant, I realized that I quit too. I should have sat on the bleachers and shown my support for the players…for my son.

When the game was over and my son got in the car, I learned that the coach had benched them for the rest of the game. They sat on the bench the entire second half!

So much to say to the coach, yet I will say nothing. Okay, I will say it here.

Hey Coach, get your emotions out of it. It’s not about you. Challenge our boys to play to the best of their ability, push them toward greatness, inspire them. Teach them to play as a team. K? Thanks!

How would you have handled the situation?

6 thoughts on “Coaching the Coach”

  1. I would have approached the coach at half time and asked him why he did what he did. I would tell him I need him to explain this to me, because I completely disagree with his choices. By the second half, I’m sure other parents were angry too! I would check in with them to see if this is valid. Then I would write an email or give him a call, to voice you opinion. He may have a very good reason why he did this…? If not, then he needs to know from his players’ parents that it needs to change. okay. I’m done. 🙂

    • I have thought about it over and over. I have actually done that in the past, however, he is 16 years old now and I have to take into consideration what he wants. I know he wants to stay with the team so…I used my blogging platform and feel better-ish.
      Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. I appreciate your words of wisdom.

  2. Oh man, had that been me, I might have done the OPPOSITE of what you did! BUT, sometimes it is best to walk away from a situation instead of letting anger take control right? I’ll be that mom in a few years, sitting helplessly in the bleachers. These are good lessons to talk about with our kids though, am I right? Life isn’t fair sometimes.

    • That what I was thinking at the time, walking away was better than my anger. And if I had of stayed in there and saw that he didn’t play them the entire second half…well not sure I could/would have contained. I really need to consider what my son wants me to do, and I think stay out of it would be his choice, though he doesn’t have a problem with me doing what I did. Maybe he knows it was better for all concerned for me to be away. 🙂
      Thanks for you comment. I like hearing how everyone feels. And you said it, good things to talk about with your kids…life definitely isn’t fair!

  3. The only comment I can give is no matter how mad you are at the coaches or referees, stay. It’s more important for your child to see you in the stands, then not.
    My youngest son has played ice hockey for 7 years. I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly ~ depending on which coach he had. This year isn’t a good one and my son is ready to give up hockey all together. So sad because he loves the sport! And selfish me loves watching him play, so I don’t want him to quit. This season I have quite a few words with the coach. I was angry but I handled it well… until my son said “Mom, let me handle my own battles”. Guess he is growing up and it’s time for me to take a step back.
    The only comment I can give is no mamad you are at the coaches or referees, stay. It’s more important for your child to see you in the stands, then not.

    • Such words of wisdom. Yep, he difinitely didn’t want me to say anything to the coach. And yes, he plans on staying with the team. But I gotta be honest, if I would have stayed in the stands and saw that he didn’t play them for the rest of the game…not sure I would have restrained myself! No saying that was right. But we have talked about it. If it comes up again, I will (try) to stay and support the team, however, if I feel like I’m getting ready to lose it, gonna take myself out of the game, so to speak.
      Thank you so much for your been-there words. They mean a lot!


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