Being a Widow

I have had the opportunity to talk with several women about being a widow since starting my podcast, Chasing Hard When Life Doesn’t Turn Out the Way You Planned. Most of the widows are young. I also meet countless new widows on my job. I am a pastoral care coordinator at my church and arranging on-site funerals is part of my job.

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Lisa Appelo was one of the women who shared her story of being a widow. The stories have one thing in common, loss on many levels. Most of the women are young and their husbands died suddenly and unexpectedly. Being a widow comes in many forms. Her story grabbed my attention because she has seven children, a few littles at the time. Being a widow with small children always makes my heart ache.

Another woman I talked with was Meghan. Life Can Change in an Instant is where she talked about her husband leaving for work one day. Not long afterward she received a phone call letting her know that he had died in the car of his coworker. Gone, just like that, leaving a preschool daughter fatherless.

I work with a young mother of a kindergartener. Last summer her husband suffered a heart attack. He was in the hospital for almost a week and seemed to be progressing in his healing journey. And then he died. She began her life of being a widow that very second. She seems to hold it together for the most part and tries to have a good attitude, but I know it’s hard. There are days she brings her daughter to work with her because the little girl just wants to be with her mommy.

Here’s the thing about being a widow, even older women who have been married for many years have to wade through the loss. There is no way around it. It doesn’t really matter how old you are, how sick your husband was, or even if you know he’s in a better place. Loss is loss and grief happens no matter the circumstances that caused you to join the being a widow club.

My good friend Mary used to say, “Those that grieve well, live well. We will all get the opportunity to grieve for many reasons in this life. Some things are small and not so life changing. Others have the power to devastate. None more than being a widow.


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